I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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