I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
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I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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