so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize