I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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