he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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