oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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