I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
