Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
