If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
