Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.

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(954): View more from Florida

a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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(205): View more from Alabama

Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook

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(214): View more from Texas

new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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(630): View more from Illinois

The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.

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(406): View more from Montana

Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night

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(315): View more from New York

See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday

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(616): View more from Michigan

If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.

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(616): View more from Michigan

He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.

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