I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
