I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
