He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
