Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
