took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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