I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
