just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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