You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize