there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
