I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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