I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
