You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
