Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
