problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
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