yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
