Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
