i barfeds in our rink
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am available for nakedness
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
