you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
