3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
