Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
