Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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