Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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