meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
