so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
