whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
