Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
