A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
