Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.