So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
