And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
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I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.