Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium