Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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