I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
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Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity