if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
my poor anus
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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