I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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