Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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