You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
