dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize