I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
