What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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