New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
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It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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