Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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