Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
