Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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