She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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