I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
