Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
