Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize