it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
