Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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