Can Purell be used as lube?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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