Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
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