u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
they're like a gay fantastic four
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize
